Little Mac Goes To McDonald's
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Little Mac loves McDonald's. So much that he could marry it... after boxing, of course. But does it compare to Chrom's love for fish sticks...? Also, Ness cries a lot.
1. Chapter 1

Little Mac was hungry after boxing all day, so he decided to call it a day and head to the McDonald's recently built on the retro Mute City race course modeled after the original F-ZERO game on the SNES, with Chrom feeding on fish sticks as usual, noticing the boxer going his way.

"Hey! Where are ya goin'?" Chrom called out to Little Mac as he noticed him getting a pink jump suit. "You wanna have some of my fish sticks?"

"To that new McDonald's. I'm starved, and chocolate can only last me so long!" Little Mac exclaimed as he stretched his arms.

"But why? Don't you know what that shit does to you?" Chrom stated as he pointed at a couple of Smashers nearby. "Look at them! They eat at those fast food joints constantly, and look what happens!"

Wario and Peach, a happily married couple, were having a fart off, with Peach being the gassier of the flatulent duo, though Wario did not mind since his farts smelled more while Peach's were louder.

"...so? I have a different metabolism than either of them." Little Mac explained as he went his merry way.

Ness began crying as he popped out of a wooden barrel, with Chrom glancing at him oddly as Little Mac dashed off to the west.

"Why you're crying, little fish?" Chrom asked as he faced Ness. "Do you need fish sticks?"

"No... Mac didn't invite me to be his little sidekick!" Ness sobbed as tears were flowing out of him at the speed of sound. "That, and... Dry Bowser won't let me go to his new spa!"

"I told you, it's a hot tub!" Dry Bowser exclaimed as he popped out of Chrom's hair, finding it hard to stay inside due to it being chrome like.

"You have a hot tub!?" Chrom exclaimed as he held his hands together. "...Does it have fish sticks?"

"Call me daddy," Said Ganondorf with a rose between his lips.

"That's MY shtick!" Waluigi exclaimed as he smashed Gangnamdork on the head with his purple tennis racket.

Meanwhile, Little Mac dashed on the race course, punching out the F-ZERO vehicles on the road. Silver The Hedgehog, who was doing a pizza delivery, noticed this occurring as he wondered if he should follow, just in case anything suspicious happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Chrom and Ness were following the trail that Little Mac left, wanting to see if he could actually reach McDonald's. Suddenly, the fish stick obsessed swordsman and crying boy with PSI powers bumped into Silver The Hedgehog, who was covered in oil and pizza grease, with there being a pile of crashed F-ZERO vehicles nearby.

"The hell happened to you?" Chrom asked as he was shoving some fish sticks up his butt.

"I was following Little Mac." Silver stated as he brushed his quills back. "No doubt that he's craving something. But I don't know what."

"Mc... McDonald's..." Ness sobbed as he blew into his shirt, disgusting both Chrom and Silver. "He's probably gonna get all the Big Macs... and not let me have some..."

"Robin!" Male Robin exclaimed as he and Female Robin popped out of one of the F-ZERO vehicles.

"Will you cut that out!?" Silver exclaimed as he used his psychic power to chuck the Fire Emblem avatars high into the sky.

"Robout," Female Robin spoke as she and her male counterpart were unable to move.

"Right then, so how are we gonna beat Little Mac to the Donald's?" Chrom asked as he was pulling out more fish sticks out of his gloves.

"Well, I suggest we hijack a vehicle. That might be for the best," Silver stated as he lied on the race track, rolling around at the speed of sound as he spreaded grease on the road, causing several more F-ZERO vehicles to go over it and spin around as they crashed, with a certain pink one stopping as its driver popped out of it.

"You idiots! Can't you see we're trying to race!?" Samurai Goroh exclaimed as he slapped Silver, Chrom, and Ness with his katana, causing blood to get on the road and his clothing.

"Corrin!" Male Corrin stated as he and Female Corrin were in their dragon forms enjoying their corn.

"YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!" Samurai Goroh bellowed as he slashed their asses so much, he reverted them to their regular human states.

"Corrout..." Female Corrin whimpered in pain as she and her male version went blasting off again.

The trio of unlucky morons took this time to sneak away as they went back on their quest to find Little Mac.

* * *

Speaking of the McDonald's obsessed freak, Little Mac was on the road to Viridian City, or at least that is what he was singing as he reached the McDonald's, noticing Greninja was nearby, cutting up all the vines that were suddenly growing there. Greninja hated vines.

"Hey Gren, is there anyone inside that McDonals?" Little Mac asked as he pushed his pink hood back. "Because I'm craving for some Big Macs."

"That's all you fucking think about. It's all about you, huh?" Greninja stated as he cut the last of the vines sighing as he shook his head. "I'm going to go cut myself, because they're probably nerfing me. Again."

Little Mac blinked as he watched Greninja suddenly disappear into the shadows, shrugging as he went into the McDonald's, his happy look on his eager mcbeaver face disappearing as he noticed the huge line of people who wanted fast food junk, too.


	3. Chapter 3

Little Mac was finally in the McDonald's... and he got all the Big Macs anyone could ever ask for. Everyone was surprised as to how he was able to hold the trays with his boxing gloves on.

"Bet you idiots thought that was the end, huh?" Little Mac chuckled as he had various trays filled with Big Macs in his gloved hands, and nothing but them.

"Are you really going to stuff yourself with nothing but Big Mac sandwiches?" Chrom asked as he and a crying Ness emerged from the bushes nearby the table Little Mac was going to sit at.

"Where the hell did you two come from?" Little Mac remarked as he sat down.

"I ask myself that every day, okay..." Ness sobbed as he couldn't hold back the tears.

Little Mac squinted his eyes as he turned to Chrom, who shrugged in response. Little Mac just shook his head as he started to stuff his mouth with the Big Macs.  
Chrom folded his arms as he watched Little Mac with intense concentration, with Silver coming into the McDonald's to see the boxer stuff in the large hamburgers into him, with Ness still crying like no tomorrow.

"I guess there's nowhere to go from here, huh?" Silver commented as he wrapped his arms around the back of his head and sat next to Chrom in the bushes, with Ness getting the two wet from his sobs.


End file.
